Steve's Blog

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September 2020

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Entries

Mar 18, 2020
Coronavirus Jokes to make the time go by
1.) At the grocery store I saw a girl with 32 boxes of pads and tampons. 32. I counted. I am not sure if they are all for her, but I would definitely suggest her husband spends quarantine on his best behavior.

2.) I went grocery shopping for my Dad since he is home due to quarantine. Some of the items on his list weren't available so I called him to see if there were any alternatives he would like. He asked, "Are there any crackers there?" I said, sure, a few, but mostly people of color.

3.) After 9/11, the slogan was "Never Forget". Now in 2020 it's "Never Forget... to Wash Your Hands"

4.) Boomers survived multiple wars and recessions. Millennials get to tell their grand kids about the Great Toilet Paper Famine of 2020".

5.) At my local Kroger, in the toilet paper aisle they started putting bags of salty snacks in the empty spaces. Now, I may be desperate, but I still have too much pride to wipe myself with an off-brand Tortilla Chip.

6.) Two of the Coronavirus prevention suggestions are self isolation and staying at least six feet away from people. I used to be a friendless loser who couldn't get a date. Apparently, I was just ahead of my time.

7.) The good news about all the food being horded from the grocery stores is since I won't have anything to eat, I also won't be needing any of that precious toilet paper.

8.) The good news about quarantine is I can get drunk alone for St Patrick's Day just as I planned but instead of being "pathetic" I am now "doing my part to fight Covid-19".